“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 (KJV)
Lately, I’m personally hearing a lot of parents lamenting that their kids were raised conservative and/or Christian, but they went away to college and became Leftist. Each of these parents have insisted they “did everything right,” up to the point of sending their kids to college.
I’m sure many of these parents did. Children are not computers, to just spit back out whatever we program into them; they are people, with their own minds and sinful hearts like all the rest of us.
But, chances are that MOST of these parents, while meaning well, and doing the best they KNEW to do, still missed a vital piece. Since it is a given that our children are going to leave the nest and be exposed to other perspectives, it is our job to PREPARE them for that.
Many parents are teaching their kids WHAT to think, not HOW to think. When it’s someone other than Mom or Dad telling them what to think, they do exactly what they were trained to do: they believe what they are told to believe. Most are not trained to be mindful of who and what is speaking into their lives. Most are not trained to thoughtfully engage with the material and ideas coming into their eyes and ears and brains, and FILTER it, examining it against a consistent standard of Truth to determine what to accept and what not to. Most are not encouraged to be intentional about building a worldview and trained to take their thoughts captive. Many are not trained to be okay with not fitting in and being unpopular if that’s the price of Truth and integrity.
These are life skills, just as surely as being able to tie their shoes, knowing their home address, or making an appointment. And although we can teach them all the right things and not necessarily be guaranteed they’ll do the right thing with them, we can’t NEGLECT teaching them these skills and then put ALL the blame on an institution when they walk away from the Truth, thinking we “did everything right.”
Regrettably, some parents demonstrate this very lack themselves when they do not treat the influence of the college as a factor while guiding their children through the decision-making process for the next steps of their lives. How can you teach someone to place high value on considering the influence of those they allow to speak into their lives while ignoring the question of what influence an immersive experience over four years is going to have?
And don’t think you can avoid the drift just by avoiding liberal colleges. Your children can go to an amazing conservative college — or no college at all — and they are still going to be exposed to contradictory influences. If we haven’t equipped our kids with the same set of skills, the same basic outcome is likely — it just might take longer and/or be more gradual.
Don’t just tell your kids what’s true. Teach them to identify Truth for themselves. Train them to be active readers, active viewers, active listeners, filtering everything constantly. Disciple them to be mindful of the influences in their lives, and not to keep company with fools — literally OR by way of media. Teach them that vigilance is a lifelong requirement.
Rachel is a homeschool graduate and homeschooling-turned-unschooling mom of five (four still at home). She and her husband, Michael (Parental Rights Foundation President), have been married for twenty-three years and make their home in the Shenandoah Valley. She has a passion for holistic health and lifestyle, and helping people live out their individual design to the fullest. She likes to research and study theology for fun, and is learning to stretch beyond her comfort zone to practice creativity.
