Homekeeping Rhythms

Maintaining a tidy and functional home seems almost impossible with children. Years ago, my house was always disgusting. I would clean desperately for hours if I knew someone was coming over, but if a friend popped by unexpectedly, I couldn’t allow them in my house. Meanwhile, I was reading books on how to clean my house and was trying to follow strict programs on the internet. Nothing worked for the long term because every program seemed to take forever and was overly complicated. Sometimes, pieces of the programs didn’t apply to me, and sometimes there were things in my home that weren’t included in the programs (children, for example).

Eventually, I gave up on the programs, the lists, and the how-to books. I started taking a close look at myself, my family, and my home and thinking about what I personally needed.

The first revelation was that I had too much stuff. For most people, the amount of stuff I had would be normal, but since I had never learned to manage my “things,” I needed to downgrade to the bare minimum until I learned that skill.

Once I had fewer things, my house did feel less cluttered, but it was still dirty. I hated cleaning. It felt like a waste of time to me when it would just get dirty again so quickly. While I wanted a beautiful and tidy home, I could never seem to get my home to that point, so I would give up before beginning. I had failed so many times on the cleaning programs that I thought it was impossible for me. Then I realized that a strict schedule and strict cleaning rules went against my innate personality. I am a bit of a free spirit, and I like to do things on my own time and in my own way. This was the second revelation. Me being on the strict cleaning programs was like a woman who wears a size 16 pant trying to squeeze into a size 6. It would never happen and was painful to even try.

I had learned that, generally in life, if you started improving just one small thing, it was likely that other improvements would flow from that one small thing. In regard to my home, I wondered if just making my bed would make a difference. I told myself I was going to make my bed every single day, no matter what else I accomplished that day. If I made my bed and then went and sat on the couch for the rest of the day, so be it, as long as my bed was made. Usually, I would have wanted to make my bed perfectly, including a new set of fancy pillows and a beautiful chunky blanket perfectly folded at the end. Since I knew I had these perfectionist tendencies and that it would stress me out trying to get my bed-making perfect, I told myself that just throwing my comforter over my bed would be completely acceptable if I didn’t feel like doing all the tucking and arranging.

This is the act that spiraled me into having a clean home. After two days of tucking and folding, and being stressed and tired from it, I began to just straighten my sleeping pillows and throw my comforter over my bed. Done. I soon realized that this way of making my bed only took 30 seconds. And it looked so nice! I decided that I was going to take another 30 seconds and just fold the comforter down a bit at the top, so my pillows showed. One minute and my bed was made. Then a month later, I decided to add a top sheet to the bed, under the comforter. I then had to straighten both in the morning and fold both down at the top. Now, years later, I have a beautifully made bed with throw pillows every single day. But it all started with just throwing the comforter over the bed and walking away.

A couple of months into making my bed every morning, I was bothered by the messiness of the rest of my bedroom. I had water bottles scattered around on surfaces, some plates from snacks I’d brought in with me, clothes were on the floor… I decided that after I made my bed in the morning, I would grab all the trash and dishes from the nightstand when I walked out the door. After two weeks of doing that and looking at a nicely made bed and a clean nightstand, I wanted to deal with the clothes on the floor. My laundry area is right outside my bedroom, so I decided that every morning I would throw in a load of clothes to wash before I grabbed the trash and headed to the kitchen. No folding of dry clothes was required though. And this was the start of developing homekeeping rhythms for myself that were perfectly tailored to me and my particular home.

As time went on, these rhythms extended to all other areas of the house and became almost automatic. I did them every single day. When I realized that something only took a few seconds or a few minutes to do, I was delighted and didn’t mind doing the task. I linked all the tiny tasks together, so a natural flow was created. I eventually realized that my home stayed tidy without me even noticing that I was “cleaning,” and when it really came time to clean for company, it only took me half an hour or so. I was shocked the first time that happened!

Now I encourage those who are struggling with homekeeping to start creating their own personal rhythms. Use the programs online or the list I include here only for inspiration, but start your own personal program, designed by you and for you.

Here are some general tips to create your own homekeeping rhythm:

1. Link together your tiny little tasks in a natural flow that works into parts of your day.
2. Do not be a perfectionist. Even if you can only half-complete a task, at least then it is half done. Washing half the dishes is better than washing none. Taking bad food out of the refrigerator and setting it by the sink to deal with later gets it out of the refrigerator and into your line of sight.
3. Before you walk out of any room in your house, get in the habit of glancing around to see if anything needs to go to the other area of the house you are going to. If you are leaving the house, can you grab the trash and take it out with you?
4. If you are walking through a room and see something that needs to be done, just do it if it will only take a moment. Pick up that toy and toss it in the bin, use the hem of your shirt to polish off that fingerprint, grab that candy wrapper off the table and toss it in the trash.
5. Keep your tools and systems incredibly basic and easy. My main tools are a spray bottle of homemade cleaner, microfiber cloths, broom and dustpan, mop, and a vacuum. I use a spray bottle of rubbing alcohol in the bathroom and at the kitchen sink to disinfect. To clean my toilet, I squirt a little bit of hand soap from the sink or shampoo from the shower into the bowl. If I had to hunt down or buy a specific toilet bowl cleaner, I just wouldn’t clean the toilet because it would feel like a hassle. But the shampoo is always on hand, and soap is soap. I do not use any special cleaners or tools for any task. For heavier duty cleaning, such as the shower or the oven, I keep a large spray bottle of one part Dawn dish soap and two parts white vinegar under the sink. I use the dish scrubby to scrub the oven. If I had to use special things to do a special cleaning, I just wouldn’t do it.
6. Kids need to keep their spaces clean. No ifs, ands, or buts. No excuses. No chore charts or programs. Just clean your space because it’s messy. This is how real life works and is a skill I wish I would have learned when I was young. I also have a saying that “if mama is cleaning, everyone is cleaning, because I didn’t make all this mess.”
7. If something isn’t working, don’t hesitate to tweak your rhythm or try something else completely. This is your rhythm after all.

Here are examples of some of my rhythms:

The Morning Rhythm – When I get dressed in the morning, I make my bed. I collect all the trash or dishes from the night before and set them on a small table that I have put by the door of my room. I grab my clothes from the laundry bin in my room and dump them in the washer. Usually, I do have to move wet clothes from the washer to the dryer. Sometimes I have to move clothes from the dryer too. These I gather up in my arms and dump them onto my tidy bed. This means I can’t get into my bed at night unless I take five or ten minutes to fold them and put them away. I also established a “hallway” laundry bin that I’ve taught my children to put their dirty clothes in. I clear this one out in the morning as well and throw those in the washer with my clothes. I start the washer and pop back into my room to take the dishes and trash to the kitchen with me. This takes about three minutes total.

The Cooking Rhythm – No matter what meal or snack I’m making if there is any wait time I will clean while I’m waiting. Even if I pop something in the microwave for one minute to heat up, I will wet a cloth and wipe the outside of the refrigerator or the top of the oven hood, which takes less than a minute. When I’m cooking meals, there is always some chunks of five minutes or more that I am just standing there waiting for something to boil or saute.  During this time, I will wash a few of the dishes or wipe the counter or sweep a small section of the kitchen floor. When the food is done, I just stop, whether the task is done or not. But you will be amazed at how much you can “clean” in these tiny little blocks of time.

The Bathroom Rhythm – When I am in the bathroom brushing my teeth or putting on makeup to go out, I take one minute to grab a wad of toilet paper and wipe down the faucet and around the sink. I grab a second wad and dry-wipe the mirror. Then I take a second minute and a second wad of toilet paper to wipe down the toilet. I squeeze a little shampoo into the toilet bowl and give it a quick swish with the toilet bowl brush. If I’m not rushed, I will grab the little bottle of rubbing alcohol I keep under the sink and quickly spray everything. This takes a total of two minutes.

But what about big cleaning tasks?

 I usually do a big cleaning task or two, here and there, once or twice a week, when I have an extra half-an-hour of time. I hope you hear what I said in that last sentence and how I said it—I do not have a schedule or list of tasks. But I do loosely plan in my head a time and a task that I want to complete. Usually, this is on Saturday mornings. Just this morning I noticed that the cushion covers on my couch are looking dingy, so I made a mental note to pull them off this Saturday and wash them. And while I have them off, I will probably grab the vacuum and clean beneath the cushions and under the couch.

Here are some very useful habits that I’ve slowly incorporated over time:

1. Hang up coats and put things where they belong as soon as you come into the house from being out. For example, if you’ve carried in the mail, sort through it while standing right over your trash can. Put your shoes in the closet. Have a place to put your keys and purse. If you went on a trip, unload your bags and put everything in its place right away. This takes thirty seconds to three minutes, depending on what you’ve carried in.
2. I’ve mentioned it before, but it is so effective that I want to repeat it… look around each room when you are leaving it to see if you can take something with you to the area you are going. Don’t get up from the couch to go get a drink without taking the bowl you were using for popcorn. Don’t go to the bedroom without grabbing your daughter’s socks from the floor.
3. Don’t let a mess sit too long because it will get harder to clean.
4. If you are digging through a cupboard, bin, or closet looking for something, also look to see if there is anything in there that you can get rid of.
5. Try to unload the dishwasher while making breakfast so you can just toss dirty dishes in there all day long, and then run it at night.
6. Do laundry every day, even if it’s just a small load.
7. I also have a strange habit of watching people clean their homes on YouTube. A channel named Scandish Home is my favorite, but there are a few women on that platform that make great home cleaning inspiration videos. If I’m feeling unmotivated, I will watch one of these videos and soon find myself in the mood to tidy up!

Final Thoughts

I’ve included a Homekeeping Rhythms Idea List for you. This is not meant to be a checklist. It is only a list of items that could be included in the unique rhythm that you create for your own home. You could pick one item to get started and find your natural housekeeping rhythm from there, occasionally coming back to the list to get inspired about other tasks you could add in.

As a final note, I texted a friend while in the middle of writing this article to make a joke about how I’m writing a piece about cleaning while sitting in a messy home. This week has been incredibly busy and my unique rhythms that I’ve had for so long have gotten disrupted. But instead of feeling discouraged, I feel acceptance and peace that this sometimes happens and once my rhythms are back in place, my home will return to its usual tidy state. Give yourself a lot of grace when you are discovering your rhythms and trying new ways of doing things. Experiment and find what works for you. And if you lose your rhythm, just find it again without any judgment on yourself.