Play School

There are so many reasons why we homeschool. Good education, quality time with our children, individualized instruction, flexibility, and even God-centered learning are just some of the reasons that may come to mind. We think about the subjects we teach, such as math, biology, history, grammar, spelling, geography: the list goes on and on. But one subject that seems to slip through the cracks and one reason for homeschooling that often goes unmentioned is the reality and necessity of character formation.

Character formation is one of those parts of life that is much more caught than taught, and yet we as parents so rarely take the time to consider what it is they are catching in this department. We will add a Bible curriculum to our studies or designate time in the schedule for family worship. While these are laudable endeavors, character is developed slowly, quietly, often through mundane moments.

A few weeks ago, my girls woke up ready to play. Sometimes they get up ready to argue and fight, but, on this particular day, they were ready to get along. While the three girls are separated by an age gap (and personality distinctions a mile wide), on this morning, none of that mattered. Costumes became uniforms, stuffed animals became customers, and blocks became currency as they created an entire world that sprawled across my living room floor. I’m sure you’ve had these magic moments. The question in my house always is, who is going to cry first? I made breakfast. No tears. I cleaned up the kitchen. No tears. As a matter of fact, the playing grew to include their older brother, too. I now had a wide range of students who probably should have been doing school but were too busy playing.

I called my husband to ask his advice: do I stop them from playing to do their schoolwork, or do I allow them to continue playing? It was like my attendance calendar on the wall was staring at me as I contemplated letting them live in their make-believe world. In some ways, I could rationalize the math that was happening in their storefront, or the copy work that was being done as they made and taped endless signs around the walls of my living room. (As I understand it, this would be in line with the education philosophy of un-schooling.) My husband convinced me to take a “teacher in-service day” and I got caught up on a lot. It wasn’t until after lunch (that was conveniently built into their story somehow) that the players started to drift out of the game and desired on their own to get some schoolwork done. But in the hours of watching my children play that day, I realized that the lessons they were learning could only be done in this way.

Later that night, I was helping my second-grader get ready for bed. She started to apologize for not getting her schoolwork finished that day and then paused when she realized that I had never asked her to do any of it. Being my very scheduled, very fair child, she furrowed her brow and asked why I didn’t ask her to do her schoolwork. I went on to tell her that she had completed her schoolwork today; it had just looked very different. I informed her that today she had attended “Play School.” Rather than working on math and reading, she worked on problem solving and conflict resolution. She didn’t complete worksheets on phonics or subtraction, but she had worked to communicate when she was frustrated. She practiced compromising and listening instead of geography and science. Instead of learning about past history, she was creating her own history.

Our lives are not made up of many life-changing events, especially in our children’s lives. Each day often looks like every other day, and the Lord uses those everyday experiences to shape our character. The fruit of the Spirit in our lives and the lives of our children does not grow overnight. It is not a one-time experience of praying for patience followed by waking up the next morning perfectly patient with everyone’s shortcomings. We know this for ourselves, but how much more is this true for these little lives with which we’ve been entrusted. Like us, our children need opportunities to put into practice the hard work of growing in the Lord. They need the chance to grow in character as they learn to be kind to their siblings, to be joyful when their towers are knocked down, and to be peaceful when the baby is sleeping.

Sometimes this looks like loving themselves when they struggle to understand a math concept, or humble when they do better on a vocabulary quiz than someone else. But maybe, just maybe, there are lessons of character that can only be learned away from the textbooks and worksheets. Maybe some of the lessons that our children need to learn is just by attending “Play School” every once in a while. And, perhaps, there are lessons of our own character that we can learn as we watch them, too.